I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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