I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
