It's just like the Real World with babies
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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