Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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