Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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