I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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