sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
