You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
