Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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