She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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