No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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