my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
