physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
