haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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