Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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