Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
