Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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