Kareoke will never be a sober sport
are you so shy because you have an std?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
