Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
