I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
