So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
