I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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