So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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