She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
