I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
