i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
