Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am spending my child support on dildos
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
