What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize