We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
