bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
