You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
