my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
