Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
