During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
