your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
