she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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