Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
