fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You need Xanax blowdarts
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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