i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
