Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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