just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
