i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
