dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
