im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
