i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
