We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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