You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
