Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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