Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
