butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
